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Police Comments
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02-29-2008, 04:55 AM
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#1 (permalink) | ||||||||
CUSA Moderator
Posts: 10,021
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: ...just over the edge
Age: 54
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Police Comments
These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country
16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through." 15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while." 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document·" 13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." 12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." 11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" 10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?" 9 "Warning! You want a warning? OKAY, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." 8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" 7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop." 6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." 5 " In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." 4 "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?" 3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can." 2 "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail." AND THE WINNER IS.... "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.
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03-01-2008, 08:42 AM
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#4 (permalink) | ||||||||
Premium Member
Posts: 130
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: united kingdom-jersey / afghanistan until july
Age: 40
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lol.
this is a response i recieved from a sergent after calling him " sarge " when i was going through my basic training in the forces sergent replied: sarge ? dont call me sarge and he continued with a little ditty: there are only two sarge's in the marines, the first is a massage and the second is a sausage, he then proceeded with another question : what happens when you massage the sausage? before i had time to think about it he repied are you calling me a w@#*%r ! it was the first and last time i called an n.c.o sarge |
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03-03-2008, 12:53 AM
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#6 (permalink) | ||||||||
Crazy Cat Lady
Posts: 555
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Texas
Age: 34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GrammyBear
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.
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 There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. 
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