05-24-2006, 07:02 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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The Chuck Norris Thread
POST YOUR CHUCK NORRIS "FACTS" HERE!
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity......Twice Chuck Norris doesn't sleep...he waits When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so fast that his foot went back in time and killed Amelia Earhart Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves. Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris doesnt read books, he stares at them untill they give him the information he wants! chuck norris can touch MC hammer When God said "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said "Say please". Chuck Norris can divide by zero chuck norris can speak braille. Mr. T and Chuck Norris travelled to the beginning of time to spar. where Mr. T blocked Chuck Norris's first roundhouse kick. Scientists commonly refer to this moment as the big bang. When Chuck Norris passes 'GO', he collects €400 It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch '60 Minutes' When Chuck Norris goes to bed he leaves the light on, not because he's afraid of the dark, but because its afraid of him. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. When Chuck Norris donates blood, they use a gun and a bucket. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear. Last edited by FluffybunnY; 05-26-2006 at 04:02 AM. |
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05-24-2006, 07:13 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer. Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What the hell was That?" Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking. Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths. According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks. Chuck Norris knows how they get the figs in the fig rolls!! |
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10-18-2006, 08:30 PM
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Member
Posts: 35
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: England
Age: 27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kk_iam
Chuck Norris is cute
unfortunatly he reminds me of my ex. Chuck Norris sure can fight.....(on TV) Im not a chuck fan, i think hes quite lame.... tho there are worse, steven segal for a start!
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12-23-2007, 11:34 PM
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#10 (permalink) | ||||||||
Lip Pirecer
Posts: 818
Blog Entries: 42
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Black Aybss
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Chuck Norris Jokes
A Couple Chuck Norris Jokes
(Chuck Norris Was In Walker Texas Ranger Thought some people woiuld enjoy theese) When The Boogyman Goes To Sleep He Checks If Chuck Norris Is In His Closet There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist. Chuck Norris Can Read Brail From A Far Chuck Norris Counted To Infinity Twice Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
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