01-13-2007, 05:35 PM
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New Member
Posts: 24
Join Date: Jan 2007
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What do you take of this situation(Need adivce)
About 5 months ago a girl i work with asked her friend if she would see if i would hang out with her. When her friend first approached me i said no becuase she had a b/f but then the girl asked me if i wanted to hang out with her and her friend one night. Well after hanging out with her a couple of times only she started txt me all the time all night about how bad her b/f was treating her. These txt were 2-3 times a week from like 12am to 5am every week for 3 months. From here during the 3 months we talked everyday. We went to the movies, eat, etc. To be fair nothing physical happened. I really didnt want anything to happen b/c i really didnt know what was going on. I mean i really never talk to the girl before this so all of sudden i got thrown into the middle of her verbally abusive relationship. Her b/f was convinced that me and her was having sex daily. Anyways a little over a month ago he dumped her and since then she really hasnt talk to me. The last time we hung out with each other was a month ago right after he dumped her. She gave me a card saying thanks for everything you did for me so glad we bacame friends and she basically never has called me since. I approached her about why she stop calling me and she said she felt boxed in. Right before be broke up with her she spent the night at this guy house we both work with. Of course it was out of spite to him but She wasnt happy i questioned her about that. Anyways i talk this girl everyday for 3 months, was thrown into train wreck of a relationship, and was always thier for her at 3 am in the morning but she just stopped calling me. We talk at work but thats it. Do you guys have any advise. i wanna believe she didnt use me i guess you can say but it seems like know she is kicking it with everysingle person except me.
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01-14-2007, 11:04 AM
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#2 (permalink) | ||||||||
Management
Posts: 2,146
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Horse Country
Age: 67
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We are no way professionals in advice.
But I would recommend that you either move on!!  or else you will always have the feeling that you were used.  Maybe you were, but No one can know what was going on in her mind, then or now. 
__________________
 Robby Attention: Use our support system located at: http://www.chatsusa.net/support |
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01-23-2007, 05:18 PM
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#5 (permalink) | ||||||||
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New Member
Posts: 24
Join Date: Jan 2007
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She wouldnt let me be thier for her. I would call her but she would never call me back. Like i said shortly after when i questioned about her not talking to me she said she felt boxed in becuase i was calling her. So i didnt call her until this past week(so its been a month) and she still didnt return my calls. So saturday night instant message me and questioned who i had been hanging around with. At this point i was mad so i was like its funny that the person you talk to the most and was their for you over the last couple of months you talk to the least now. She said she was sorry i felt that way and that she leans on all her friends. I was ok. Anyways after she stopped hanging out with me she started hanging with another guy we work with but i guess she told him to take a step back.
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01-23-2007, 05:27 PM
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New Member
Posts: 2
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Washington
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hey just get over her u sound like a good guy trying to help her out. so jus move on and find a chick that really will enjoy being with u or maybe she is afraid to be with u.
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SweetCandy18 |
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01-23-2007, 09:53 PM
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Master
Posts: 365
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Michigan
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Maybe you should act like that never happened and act like you did before she talked to you. Some people need to talk to a person who doesn't know them that well, kind of like a clean slate to make a new impression on. If you act like you don't want anything, or expect anything, to change she will feel like she still does have time to start fresh with you. But don't hold your breath.
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01-31-2007, 02:10 PM
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New Member
Posts: 24
Join Date: Jan 2007
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So for the first time in a month we went and hung out this past Monday. Wow did this conversation make things more interesting. She told me that she did push me away becuase she is/was just coming off a disaster of a 4 year relationship and that becuase she likes me that she couldnt be around me becuase to qoute her "she doesnt trust herself around me" and she doesnt want a relationship. I knew over those 3 months that thier were so many times when i could have done something with her but i didnt becuase i knew that she was really mentally messed up from being in this relationship with her bf at the time and i knew that yeah i could do something with her but i knew she would stop talking to me becuase she wouldnt have cheated on her b/f. She told that was true she would have stopped talking to me. She admitted that she wanted to do stuff with me and their were so many times she almost did(it was funny we were just started rambling off occasions when something could have happened) but she would have never cheated on her bf.
I told her i was attracted to her in the same way but i knew the situation i was in and i didnt want to take advantage of her or date her on those terms. She thanked me for that and said that every guys she has known as always tried to get on her and she was surprised that i still even wanted to talk to her anymore becuase of how she stopped talkig to me. She said she wouldnt have blamed me for never talking to her again. |
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