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darken_eyes · 07-24-2007, 07:24 AM

well i have a friend who i was sexually assulted and she refuses to go to the cops. she is a really good friend of mine and i know for fact cuz two of my other friends have come to me about it that this guy has done it to them so i know that he has done before. i just dont know what to do. im always there when she needs to talk and she knows that and we talk quite often i just wish she would tell the cops so this cant do this to any other girl. plz tell me if there is eles other than be there for her (as i am already) that i can do. thank you.

**KatRN** · 07-24-2007, 11:54 AM

YOU CANT FORCE HER HUN! THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IS SHARE THE REASON YOU BELIEVE ITS IMPORTANT FOR HER TO COME FORWARD....THEN AFTER THAT JUST BE THERE FOR HER REGARDLESS OF HER CHOICE! ITS IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW FOR HER TO FEEL SAFE AND SOMETIMES COMING FORWARD IS UNFORTUANTELY HARDER THAN WHAT YOU HAVE TO GIVE AFTER THAT! LOVE HER THROUGH IT!!!

07-24-2007, 03:19 PM

Why doesn't she want to go to the cops? Does she not want this guy to be arrested? If there's other people who have had the same experience from this jerk he shouldn't be walking around still assaulting people.

I would tell her that if she refuses to do something about him that she's paving the way for him to do it again.

darken_eyes · 07-25-2007, 04:15 AM

i agree totally what you are sayin kat but my cousin hangs out the jerk and she wont listen to me either and my friend says she wont tell her herself so i dont know what to do...all i know is if that ass touches my cousin ill hurt him...and i wont think twice...and as your question fluffy...she hates his guts but i just found that someone did come forward but the little prick has close ties with the cops and they believe him instead of the girls...oooooo...im srry for the cops on this site...but i HATE cops with a damn passion...

**Jonathan** · 07-25-2007, 01:16 PM

You know ICU, the funny thing is that anytime someone is not put in jail for a crime -they say it is because the person "is in good with the cops". Which is probably not true at all. In our justice system, there are so many loop holes and guidelines that police officers have to follow, and then in the end it is left up to the city prosecutor to even take the case to court. Sometimes justice works, sometimes it doesn't.

All you can do is warn your cousin. If she chooses to still spend her time with him, we can only hope she is not harmed.

Also, urge your friend to seek professional help. Cost is no longer an excuse as most insurance companies cover it.

Best of luck!
- Jonathan

**Robby** · 07-26-2007, 04:03 PM

Well, there are many factors that could limit what the police are able to do.

Prompt and timely reporting of an incident, so that evidence can be collected. You wait 2or 3 days or weeks to make the report, there is no evidence. Then it comes down to she said or he said.

Of course, no matter when reported, the report should be taken with the names of the individuals and what happened. Then if this person tries anything at a later time, they can be charged with more than one count.

Like compu says, sometimes with no evidence, prosecutors will chose not to take action, but if the report was made it is on file for later action.

Yes, you can only warn your cousin, but if something happens with her, take the correct action, REPORT IT TO THE POLICE. Other wise you could be the one in jail, and of no help to your cousin or friend.

07-26-2007, 05:04 PM

It's the embarrasment, she probably thinks it will be male police.
In England you can ask for a female cop. Maybe you could find out if she could see a female officer.

icu · 07-28-2007, 08:33 PM

Thank you...guys...I will give all these things a try...you all are great friends

Tahar · 07-30-2007, 05:57 AM

Good luck in solving your problem.

**Blondy** · 07-30-2007, 10:57 PM

icu i know who u r talking about because i talked to the same girl! sh promised me she would tell her parents! If is hard for anyone but especially that age! You can only do so much the rest is up to her! I am not all for cops hun but i can tell you most of them are good! But if it happens to a few of them they need to all go in not just one! It makes for a better case and do it right away as for the reasons robby gave! evidence is a timely thing after 24 or even a shoer everything is gone that they need to convict him! Good luck hun and if you find out anything lese let me know! I told her i am here for her too if she needs me!

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07-24-2007, 03:19 PM	#3 (permalink)

FluffybunnY Guest Posts: n/a	Why doesn't she want to go to the cops? Does she not want this guy to be arrested? If there's other people who have had the same experience from this jerk he shouldn't be walking around still assaulting people. I would tell her that if she refuses to do something about him that she's paving the way for him to do it again.

07-26-2007, 05:04 PM	#7 (permalink)

peachy_donnamarie33 Guest Posts: n/a	It's the embarrasment, she probably thinks it will be male police. In England you can ask for a female cop. Maybe you could find out if she could see a female officer.