04-17-2007, 10:52 PM
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#1 (permalink) | ||||||||
platinum member
Posts: 55
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tacoma, wa.
Age: 26
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my hubby
ok i dont know how to put this but my hubby and me always fight
i mean over evrything. if i say or do anything he starts yelling does anyone have any ideas to stop fighting ive tried everything from doing my chores daily cooking his favorite meals ect. ect |
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04-17-2007, 11:30 PM
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Beautiful Disaster
Posts: 3,408
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Born & Bread TEXAS GIRL, but temporarily stuck in Alabama lol !!
Age: 27
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YOU CANT CHANGE HIM!! PROMISE... MY HUSBAND BLEW UP ON ME OVER NOTHING TWO NIGHTS AGO AND CURSED AND THREATENED ME IN FRONT OF MY CHILD AND MY FATHER IN LAW AND I CANT CHANGE HIM! BUT HE IS NOT GOING TO TOUCH ME KISS ME OR EVEN HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH ME UNLESS IT CONCERNS OUR SON UNTILL HE APOLOGIZES AND REALIZES EVERYTIME HE DOES THAT I THROW BACK UP THAT WALL THAT TOOK SO LONG TO BREAK DOWN~ AND WE START RIGHT BACK ON THIS ROLLER COASTER WHERE I DOUBT WHY IM MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE..THEN JUST AS I START THINKING MAYBE I SHOULD LEAVE HIM THE ONLY THING I SEE IS MY SONS FACE AND THE WAY IT LIGHTS UP WHEN HES AROUND! AND I CANT LEAVE! BUT IN MY CASE I LET HIM KNOW IM NOT GOING TO BE TALKED TO THAT WAY ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF OUR CHILD AND UNTIL IT CAN CHANGE HE NEEDS TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO TAKE CARE OF HIM AND I GO ON STRIKE! LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO HAVE TO LIVE IN FEAR AND WALKING ON EGG SHELLS FOR ANYONE! I WONT BE A VICTIM! IF HE ACTED LIKE THAT MORE THAN ONCE OR TWICE A YEAR ID HAVE TO LEAVE REGARDLESS OF OUR SON OR LOVE! LOVE HAS NOTHING TO DO IN MY OPINION WITH BEING TREATED LIKE THAT OR HAVING SOMEONE TELL ME IM WORTHLESS, BECAUSE I KNOW BETTER! IM GREAT AND I WILL MAKE IT WITH OR WITHOUT HIM AND HE CAN ENJOY THE RIDE OR GET OFF ANY TIME! HOPE IT GETS BETTER HUN I KNOW ITS NOT FUN AND I AM DEFINATELY HERE IF YOU NEED ME! MY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT IN THE SENSE WE GET ALONG GREAT 97% OF THE TIME BUT HIS ANGER THE OTHER 3% IS REALLY SCARY AND ITS ENOUGH TO MAKE THE OTHER 97% FEEL LIKE A CRUEL JOKE SOMETIMES! LOVE CAN SUCK BUT IT CAN ALSO BE WORTH IT! FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND LEAN ON YOUR FRIENDS!
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 KatRN 
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04-18-2007, 12:02 PM
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Aspiring Evangelist
Posts: 293
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: in the middle of nowhere
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Yeah I can definitly relate to both stories. Although I really cant complain about him, most times it is MY griping that starts the argument. Which I am working on, it just takes time. And like you Kat I have always had a wall around me. I live in survival mode everyday of my life due to how I grew up. He cannot break that wall down. And it affects my relationship with him and our oldest daughter. I tend to be harder on her than the other one and am worried how i am gona be when this child gets her in a few weeks and when this one gets old enough to be discioplined. As I said before I am working on my attitude towards my family and making life easier for us all.
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 dance like nobody is watching
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04-21-2007, 10:17 AM
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#4 (permalink) | ||||||||
reach for the stars
Posts: 1,179
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: minnesota
Age: 34
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oh i relate to all or it me and my hubby r seperated cause he was emotional abuseive for seven yrs i finealy has enough and told him to leave but it is really hard on our son he misses his dad alot but i had to start taken care of me my selfestem was soooo low i could barely function anymore and the drinkin was so bad now im doin things to make me stronger and grow and i am the only one that can make me whole again now he realize what he did how bad it was and he wants to come back he said he changed but i think to much was said for to long he made me feel like nothing for to long to ever fix it with him but then i get the guilt to try to get back together with him so do i make me happy or do give in to the guilt of others but water u need to think of u and the kids hun it not gd to have the kids see that either do u want u son to think it ok to treat women that way or ur daughter to be treated that way no u dont so be strong for u and and the kids
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truth is a rare thing  
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04-21-2007, 11:21 AM
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Serial Poster
Posts: 581
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: louisiana
Age: 39
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ahhhhhhhh, Water, you brought soooo much back to me with your statement. I also was verbaly abused by my husband. It came out in the last year of our marriage that he was bipolar and that was why he could be laughing one minute and yelling the next. I spent 16 years trying to make him happy. I am only just realizing that I never had a chance. He left me, I never would have walked out of my marriage but he is still not happy. I however am happier than I have been in all my adult life. I am finding myself and learning that I am not so bad after all. Don't let anyone tell you that you are not something special. You are a beautiful person who needs and deserves to be loved and respected. While I personally don't believe in giving up on marriage without a fight, sometimes there is no hope but to let it go. Try to talk him into seeing a counselor and trying to work on what is bothering him and why he can't be happy. If he is willing to try it, great, try it and see if it helps. If he is not willing then maybe you should go for you and get you straight and seeing his behavior for what it is. I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope that things go well for you whatever happens. Staying together just for the children only makes everyone miserable. I have a 17 yoa son that has been telling me since he was in kindergarten that we don't need his dad. Listen to your heart and your child (children). I caused my children to go through some very hard times because I was so reluctant to leave, don't make the same mistakes. Good luck hunnie I hope that God leads you to peace and happiness.
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04-21-2007, 12:06 PM
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#6 (permalink) | ||||||||
Management
Posts: 2,247
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Ixonia, Wisconsin, USA
Age: 43
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Water, this is a very difficult time and place you are in. Please remember, we are not professionals here, just a community of caring people who are here for you. I do urge you to seek counseling, whether your husband goes or not. You can only benefit from this. Whatever decesion you make, we are here to listen and support you.
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Last edited by malenurse1; 04-21-2007 at 01:56 PM. |
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04-22-2007, 08:09 AM
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#7 (permalink) |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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water, i know where you are coming from and have had the same problem with my husband in the past.you need to do whats right for you and your child..and take it from someone who has been where your child is.. my mom stayed with my father when he went through a few years of being the same way as your husband.. i was probably one of the unhappiest children around .. i hated hearing the fights and wished many times that we would just leave.so the fighting does take its toll on the child..and in all honesty i still wish she would have left.. he was never that way with anyone other than her... so follow your heart hun dont stay just for your child..if you need me im here
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