My girlfied hates my best friend(NEED HELP PLEASE)

BraveOne · 04-23-2008, 01:56 AM

Well it all started five years ago when i was at university , i met this girl called Mary (we were classmates by the way), we were cool meeting each other a couple of weeks (as a friends)...but at the same time i realized that i was falling in love so i finally decided to open my heart and tell her what i really felt inside .....i was lucky i liked her so much so we became a couple and i must say everyday of my live was wonderful knowing that i could trust her (wich i know is the most important thing in a relationship) ....
Ok so the days where endless we had much fun , we were crazy you know... ,
She got her friends i got mine so heres where i met my best friend Jenny the one that you know will always be by your side no matter what could happend, the thing is that i like spending my time with Mary but i like spending my time with jenny too and you 're maybe asking yourself why this guy is cheating on his girlfriend, well im not i love Mary as much as Jenny but im aware that jenny is my friend and she'll always be my friend

They know each other actually they were good friends sometime but now Mary hates Jenny just because shes nice with me, we talked a lot about this, but everytime we do she gets mad...she told me not to go out with jenny anymore but i cant, i couldn't , i dont wanna loose jenny and dont wanna loose Mary , im starting to loose faith, i dont wanna give up but now living this life is like hell, its not fair...

I cant stand this anymore i need help , dont know what to do, Im still young at heart......HELP ME PLEASE

GrammyBear · 04-23-2008, 02:14 AM

Ah that nasty green monster "jealousy" rears its ugly head I see. Well, I'm no professional but seems to me you have a few things to think about.

~ Explain to Jenny that you will always adore her as a best friend but that you need to try to work things out with Mary. She'll probably miss you and you'll miss her but at least she would understand another woman being jealous and give you this time you need to see where things are going with Mary.

~ Realize jealously is the root problem here and if Mary had a best friend who was a man that she wanted to spend the same amount of time with as you do Jenny...would you be ok with that? If so, you're a very mature and secure man and I applaud you. If not, at least can see how Mary must be 'not so secure' with you and her feelings make more sense.

~ You may want to consider that you might have to end contact with one of them to keep the other. Trust me when I tell you seeing Jenny on the sly to protect Mary's feelings will bite you in the butt BIG time with them both. Neither will trust you in the end so this is not worth considering.
~ Perhaps, you could offer to only see/be with Jenny in Mary's presense? If she agrees, it'll let her know she is your love and Jenny is only a friend..well, it will if thats the way you treat them at any rate.

Good luck hon, lifes not fair, but it is consistent.

Dr. Mooka · 04-23-2008, 01:37 PM

aww hun, i've been there too. I know that it sucks, because you just feel that your bestfriend should be happy for you if you're happy, and that you're bf/gf should be glad that you have someone who is such a great friend to you, and cares about you too. Im just lucky that my boyfriend gets along great with my bestfriend, it makes things so much easier, and it makes you care about who you're with even more, because its like they are accepting everything that you are. I really hope things work out for you hun, i know it sucks, but you just gotta hang in there, and definitly take grammy's advice.

BraveOne · 04-23-2008, 03:31 PM

Oh thanks for such great advices ....i think you´re both right , lets see what happens now that i get things cleared...Stay tunned I'll tell you how things are going on ok...

Take care....see you later

sohighman · 04-24-2008, 12:18 AM

u gotta think whose gonna be there in the long run and if ur new girl cant accept ur best friend being a lady or not shes not right for u

martina · 05-05-2008, 12:53 PM

sorry man,
life is not fair!

04-23-2008, 01:56 AM	#1 (permalink)

BraveOne New Member Posts: 3 Points: 5,213 Join Date: Apr 2008	My girlfied hates my best friend(NEED HELP PLEASE) Well it all started five years ago when i was at university , i met this girl called Mary (we were classmates by the way), we were cool meeting each other a couple of weeks (as a friends)...but at the same time i realized that i was falling in love so i finally decided to open my heart and tell her what i really felt inside .....i was lucky i liked her so much so we became a couple and i must say everyday of my live was wonderful knowing that i could trust her (wich i know is the most important thing in a relationship) .... Ok so the days where endless we had much fun , we were crazy you know... , She got her friends i got mine so heres where i met my best friend Jenny the one that you know will always be by your side no matter what could happend, the thing is that i like spending my time with Mary but i like spending my time with jenny too and you 're maybe asking yourself why this guy is cheating on his girlfriend, well im not i love Mary as much as Jenny but im aware that jenny is my friend and she'll always be my friend They know each other actually they were good friends sometime but now Mary hates Jenny just because shes nice with me, we talked a lot about this, but everytime we do she gets mad...she told me not to go out with jenny anymore but i cant, i couldn't , i dont wanna loose jenny and dont wanna loose Mary , im starting to loose faith, i dont wanna give up but now living this life is like hell, its not fair... I cant stand this anymore i need help , dont know what to do, Im still young at heart......HELP ME PLEASE

04-23-2008, 02:14 AM	#2 (permalink)

GrammyBear Joy Seeker! Posts: 10,106 Blog Entries: 1 Points: 1,837,474,777,093 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: ...just over the edge Age: 54	Ah that nasty green monster "jealousy" rears its ugly head I see. Well, I'm no professional but seems to me you have a few things to think about. ~ Explain to Jenny that you will always adore her as a best friend but that you need to try to work things out with Mary. She'll probably miss you and you'll miss her but at least she would understand another woman being jealous and give you this time you need to see where things are going with Mary. ~ Realize jealously is the root problem here and if Mary had a best friend who was a man that she wanted to spend the same amount of time with as you do Jenny...would you be ok with that? If so, you're a very mature and secure man and I applaud you. If not, at least can see how Mary must be 'not so secure' with you and her feelings make more sense. ~ You may want to consider that you might have to end contact with one of them to keep the other. Trust me when I tell you seeing Jenny on the sly to protect Mary's feelings will bite you in the butt BIG time with them both. Neither will trust you in the end so this is not worth considering. ~ Perhaps, you could offer to only see/be with Jenny in Mary's presense? If she agrees, it'll let her know she is your love and Jenny is only a friend..well, it will if thats the way you treat them at any rate. Good luck hon, lifes not fair, but it is consistent. __________________ Happiness is a Choice - Not an Accident! Be Yourself: Those who mind don't matter. Those who matter, won't mind. Leave good memories in the hearts of others. Proud Member: CUSA's Bookworms, Moviegoers, and Metalheads Best Wishes and Bear Hugs, GrammyBear CUSA Moderator

04-23-2008, 01:37 PM	#3 (permalink)

Dr. Mooka CUSA Nuisence Posts: 300 Points: 6,863,143,826 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Texas Age: 19	aww hun, i've been there too. I know that it sucks, because you just feel that your bestfriend should be happy for you if you're happy, and that you're bf/gf should be glad that you have someone who is such a great friend to you, and cares about you too. Im just lucky that my boyfriend gets along great with my bestfriend, it makes things so much easier, and it makes you care about who you're with even more, because its like they are accepting everything that you are. I really hope things work out for you hun, i know it sucks, but you just gotta hang in there, and definitly take grammy's advice. __________________

04-24-2008, 12:18 AM	#5 (permalink)

sohighman $get money$ Posts: 293 Points: 878,785,420 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: connecticut	u gotta think whose gonna be there in the long run and if ur new girl cant accept ur best friend being a lady or not shes not right for u __________________ UMMMMM....WHAT Last edited by sohighman; 04-24-2008 at 12:19 AM. Reason: i cant spell

04-23-2008, 03:31 PM	#4 (permalink)

BraveOne New Member Posts: 3 Points: 5,213 Join Date: Apr 2008	Oh thanks for such great advices ....i think you´re both right , lets see what happens now that i get things cleared...Stay tunned I'll tell you how things are going on ok... Take care....see you later

05-05-2008, 12:53 PM	#6 (permalink)

martina New Member Posts: 4 Blog Entries: 1 Points: 5,173 Join Date: May 2008 Location: Croatia - Zagreb	sorry man, life is not fair!