gwendolyn

Posts: 74

hello all who read.....
i have never written to anyone for advice before, but i'm sort of at the end of my rope. if anyone can help or even thinks they may be able to help me to understand, please reply.
my oldest daughter and her family (husband and 2 kids) have moved here from another state and are waiting to move into a house. (when they find one) they are looking in ernest. my son-in-law works every day except sunday, my daughter stays home with the 1 yr old and the 5 yr old goes to school. things would be ok except for one thing. my daughter is constantly complaining and griping at my son-in-law. now, don't get me wrong, i know that couples argue and fuss. but this man adores her and does most anything she asks. he works all day and comes home, only to have to feed the baby and change her before he can even shower.
maybe i'm old fashioned, but i feel like they are headed for disaster if she doesn't change and i'm so frustrated with trying to talk to her i don't know what to do. i don't know if i should just sit back and watch it happen or how to approach the issue. i have talked to her about it and continue to do so, but it doesn't seem to be soaking in.
i'm at a loss as to what to do......my son-in-law tries to talk to her too, but she just gets angrier.....
please reply if you have any suggestions or comments......thank you......gwen

tinkerwink

Posts: 218

Well, there are a few different things that may be bugging her.1. she may still have a pinch of postpartum.2. it is stressfull to stay home all day with a child. does she get out much?3. the stress of living back at home with mom might be taking its toll no matter how close you are to each other. Maybe see if her working part time or just getting out for a walk for 30min to herself. Or she may just have a naggy nature.(sorry if that offends). You are right about them heading for trouble.Most me who work all day and the wife stays home expect some form of appreciation and it will take a toll on him sooner or later. I stay at home and tend to be old fashion my husband doesnt cook, doesnt clean to often but does help with the kids.I know this might not have been very helpful. oh and if you have talked to her and talked to her about dont push to much.she has to learn how to treat him on her own and you dont want things to get funky between the two of you because you pushed the issue.hope this help

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krobelus

Posts: 4,032

some women who are stuck at home all day taking care of the kids can sometimes feel a little resentment towards their partners because they have a social life of sorts when they are at work(where as the woman feels trapped within the confines of the home having to run around after the kids),if it is the mother who wakes to tend to their child thru night,when the child is restless,in need of a feed or a diaper change,then a lack of sleep could be causing her to feel grumpy and angry,another thing could be the side effects of labour ie:post natal depression,hormone imbalance etc.do the couple ever have any free time from the kids ie:going out for a meal or the cinema,if not perhaps they could try it out a couple of times to see if that does the trick.what your daughter and her partner are going thru is quite a common thing,but there a many different reasons for why it may be happening and you may have to explore all avenues to find an answer,im no doctor and im certainly no expert but i hope i have helped in some way

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krobelus

Posts: 4,032

shows you how common it is,me and tink posted at the same time and came up with more or less the same thing

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KK_iam

Posts: n/a

Gwen, both of what tinker and Krob said makes sense. Maybe if she would
agree to go to the doctor it would help. Also you might try getting her in
public more. THe more she is out the easier it is sometimes. Maybe going to the library or for a drive. You also might try going to the library yourself
and finding a book about depression and or post partum. Those might help
her to see some of the things she is doing. Books always seem to help
me when im down.............