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Skittles · 06-22-2006, 10:35 PM

okay, so im gay...lesbian, whatever....anyway. Ive been going with this girl for 3 years. She is the love of my life for real. we were high school sweethearts and basicallystarted going together at 16, well, so i "cheated" on her within the first year we were together. rememver, i was sixteen, i was scared to be tied down with 1 person that seriously because, well, i wasnt sure if she was THE ONE. Ive caught hell periodically between then and now with people i hang out with. she never trusted me with anyone because she was scared i would cheat again. throughput the next few years, i knew she was the one. and i made it my priority to have her by my side for the rest of my life. i threw her a surprise birthday party a few weeks ago and we stayed the night in the hotel room. due to other issues i was dealing with, i didnt call her for a few days. she called me 3 days after her party breaking up with me...so im like yo?! what happened? so its been like2 weeks now and she calls me yesterday and tells me that theres something she neeeds to tell me. so, by this time, im scared. so she tells me she cheated on me...with a DUDE, her co worker. right now...im crushed. no one has a clue as to how much this girl means to me. then she tells me she not only did it once, but 4 times. i dont know whether to forgive her, cuz she forgave me...or to walk. im seriously desperate for advice. I wouldnt normally writh in this forum thing, but i really need advice, seriously.

06-23-2006, 05:11 AM

Look at it from her point of view. Ye were childhood sweethearts and you cheated on her. I know if it was me, i could never completely trust that person 100% again.

Quote: Originally Posted by skittles

i threw her a surprise birthday party a few weeks ago and we stayed the night in the hotel room. due to other issues i was dealing with, i didnt call her for a few days..

Doing this to someone has "i just used you for the night" written all over it. You share an intimate night and then ignore her for a few days?? It doesn't matter if you've other things on, look at how she's seeing it. I would be

!

Maybe she thinks you were off cheating on her again and thats why she went off with a bloke. Maybe she knew that would hurt you more. I totally see where she's coming from. Sorry if this all sounds a bit harsh.

**Robby** · 06-23-2006, 07:57 AM

I do not make judgements about lifestyles and sexual orientation as I know nothing about that subject!

I would however, suggest that you find a counseling service in your area! Professional type, community based, or even religious based! To get your self thru the conflict you are having. You need help that is not available from this site!

We make no judgements as to what you have been feeling or doing. That is your life, however you do need some help in working thru these problems.

If you just need to talk, many of us are good listener's.

06-23-2006, 08:09 AM

Maybe your gf was having the same mixed emotions about being "tied down" that you had when you were younger. Maybe she just wanted to know what being with a man was like (if she hadnt done that before).

If it is meant to be then it will happen.

Good Luck

06-23-2006, 07:09 PM

Maybe your friend is bisexual. Anyways, I think that you two need to talk and determine each others point of view to what is going on and why. Until you come to some sort of mutual agreement, it sounds as if things are going to be frustrating. I don't know if you cheating on her had anything to do with it, but it is important that the two of you determine if you are both looking toward the commitment that you are currently seeking. Best of Luck to you.

x_Hellz_Angel_x · 06-25-2006, 11:30 AM

I agree completely with Fluffy.

And even when something is going on with you, you should still talk to her ... that might show her that she is the most important thing in your life right now, and maybe she would have trusted you more. Anyways what I think you should do is talk to this girl. See if she gives you a reason as to why she cheated on you. If you both love eachother, you should try to give it another chance. Hope it all works out <33

angiekng33 · 06-26-2006, 11:42 PM

I know this is probably not what you need or want to hear right now, but everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that you just have to trust that whatever comes out of this will only make you stronger and who knows maybe she is the one. Only time can tell. I wish you the best!!!!

Younisxxx · 07-02-2006, 08:14 AM

Look dear, the best thing u can do is to set with her and discuss this openly with her by asking her for the reason that forced her to do that... then u may get the full answer for ur question and at that time u can decide what the next step is... and i believe that this is the best way coz if u just decided to forgive her without being aware of the reason and without being aware of the cause you may get the wrong cure.... and the consequences for not asking her about the reason and just forgive her may make feel that she is cheating u whenever some disputes happened... so be aware of the reason first then judge

gwendolyn · 08-03-2006, 01:51 AM

Sounds to me like it boils down to 2 people in a relationship that have cheated on each other. Doesn't matter the sexual orientation. Both of you are in the wrong. If your relationship is going to work, it's going to take an awful lot of work on both your parts to rebuild the trust in your relationship. for both of you. sounds like you may have been having to rebuild trust for awhile. I truly wish you both the best of luck and happiness

krobelus · 08-03-2006, 08:48 AM

well skittles it looks to me like every 1 is in agreement they allsay u should talk it thru and i agree,i also agree with robby on the subject of proffesional help it could b the thing u and ur partner need,but if i dont work out u know u can come here and talk to us,we r not proffesionals but like i say we r here 2 talk.

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06-23-2006, 05:11 AM	#2 (permalink)

FluffybunnY Guest Posts: n/a	Look at it from her point of view. Ye were childhood sweethearts and you cheated on her. I know if it was me, i could never completely trust that person 100% again. Quote: Originally Posted by skittles i threw her a surprise birthday party a few weeks ago and we stayed the night in the hotel room. due to other issues i was dealing with, i didnt call her for a few days.. Doing this to someone has "i just used you for the night" written all over it. You share an intimate night and then ignore her for a few days?? It doesn't matter if you've other things on, look at how she's seeing it. I would be ! Maybe she thinks you were off cheating on her again and thats why she went off with a bloke. Maybe she knew that would hurt you more. I totally see where she's coming from. Sorry if this all sounds a bit harsh.

06-23-2006, 08:09 AM	#4 (permalink)

Nilla Guest Posts: n/a	Maybe your gf was having the same mixed emotions about being "tied down" that you had when you were younger. Maybe she just wanted to know what being with a man was like (if she hadnt done that before). If it is meant to be then it will happen. Good Luck

06-23-2006, 07:09 PM	#5 (permalink)

JM12144 Guest Posts: n/a	Maybe your friend is bisexual. Anyways, I think that you two need to talk and determine each others point of view to what is going on and why. Until you come to some sort of mutual agreement, it sounds as if things are going to be frustrating. I don't know if you cheating on her had anything to do with it, but it is important that the two of you determine if you are both looking toward the commitment that you are currently seeking. Best of Luck to you.