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Flawless · 09-29-2006, 03:24 AM

Ok this is just a weird story that happened to me one day...told with a touch of entertainment.

It was a normal Tuesday, most boring day of the week. I had to use the restroom, so I went into the nearest public restroom. Usually, there is only at most two sit down stalls, a normal one and a handicapped one, and quite a few stand up stalls (this IS a men's room lol). Well in this one, quite surprisingly, there were all sit down stalls, and about 10 of them. So I am about to choose a stall; occupied, occupied, occupied, occupied, VACANT!
Now, at this time, I feel it would be a great moment to describe what I had on. I was wearing some Black, Grey, and White basketball shorts, some shoes called Air Force One's, basketball shoes, and they were Black and Invisible (I say Invisible because you can see through the shoe right to the sock/foot on majority of the shoe. That is really the only part of my outfit you need to know, aside from the Dark Blue and Dark Green boxers I was wearing.
So I prep the stool for my short visit. Put toilet paper in the stool so I don't get that nasty splash and on the seats so it isn't as cold. Then I sit down. Now, I notice the guy in the stall next to me has on the same boxers...weird huh? Not as weird as it's going to get. So I have this thing where I play on my cell phone or check my Yahoo! or MySpace messages while I wait.

Next thing I know, I hear,"Hey man!". At first I disreguard it thinking that some people outside the stalls are interacting in some way. Then I hear it again, "Hey man!". So I look up...no one there. Hmmm. "Hey man!", then I look up again, "No...down here!"

To my IMMEDIATE surprise, this guy was looking up at me. I'm thinking to myself "WTF?!?!" Then he says, "Hey I like your shoes man, they are cool! By the way, did you know that we have on the same boxers???". Then it was like he was waiting for me to reply while still looking right at me. A few responses flew threw my head, and it was like I was saying them but I wasn't because it was all so weird:

"..."

"What?"

"Who the hell are you?"

"Thanks Man"

"Hey, how are you looking at me from the bottom of your stall and still using the bathroom at the same time (his pants were still down to his ankles)???"

"Oh you caught that sale too huh?"

"You don't say...I didn't even notice"

"Thanks for caring"

"Yea, expect my boxers don't have a huge stain in them"

Various things popped into my head, but like I said, I didn't say any of them. I was just looking at this guy in total confusion. I'm pretty sure you guys can post things I should have said. So I guess he realized that I was taken completely off guard and felt the need to sort of ease the situation. So he said, "I'm Sam by the way. Nice to meet you!", then sticks his hand under the stall. Now I don't know what I would have done at that point had he not accidentally, or maybe purposely graze my leg!!! Well, at that point, I lifted my right leg to stomp his hand, lol, because it was a self-defense action. This was a moral crime lol. When I lifted my leg my phone dropped in the stool and it made me kind of stop what I was doing all off a sudden. So now I'm totally confused, my phone is in the toilet, I got one leg cocked in the air and a freaking maniac is looking at me from the stall and I am about to stomp his hand. That's when he made a mistake. Another man should never comment on a straight man's genitals when his face is 2 inches of the ground and his pants are still down and he has not wiped his butt and that straight man's foot is hovering over his head ready to coming tumbling down with a Wrath of Fury. The nerve of this guy to say something about my "package"! I did not even realize how I was positioned...WIDE OPEN! That's when I finally put a "Nike Air" with the Swoosh/Check emblem on the side of his face. I tried to hurry up and wipe and flush and get out there as fast as I could but I guess the poor guy was embarrased. He got out of there with no flush, no wipe, no wash or nothing. I just let him go! To think...I was going to give him some clothing coupons for Wal-Mart! NOOOTT!!!

~The End~