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Bless your heart. You know, men are often more drawn to women who want them but who don't need/cling to/smother them.
Whatever he's doing down there, I'd guess you really don't want to walk in on it and start what could become the end. If you love him, you want him happy so I'd let him be until he figures out what he wants.
My concern is you at the moment. You can get through this whether he comes to you or not. Distract yourself in New York. Even get a job for a while. Whatever passes time and takes your mind off missing the man you think he is...he may turn out different.
Whatever you decide, have faith in yourself to survive and remember you aren't alone. Many of us have been in similar situations, male and female, and life goes on as it's supposed to. If it's right, it'll all work out and if it wasn't right, best you stop wasting each others time and move toward true happiness elsewhere.
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