|
Bless your heart. You can get through this hon. You have inner strength you aren't even aware of and we all have faith in you. I agree with you seeking help to deal be it counselor, therapist, clergy. See if you can meet some Alanon folks and maybe even go to some of their meetings. Your moma and brother could also benefit and maybe if you empower yourself to seek help, you can influence them to also. Until then, just get through each day, one at a time. You can do this!
Don't think because you're young that you have no power over your life. You do. You can also have a positive effect on those around you by your actions and attitude. Just as your dad has had such a negative one.
Sometimes adults get so miserable they can't seem to handle how their life is. They can't accept their lot in life is of their doing so they blame others. They lash out at folks who are closest to them. Your dad is sick, in mind and heart, and no one can help him but himself. Don't buy into the mean things said any more than you would heed the words of a stranger overcome with pain, anger and grief. They're expressing their reality, Not yours.
You're aren't worthless, hopeless or a burden and neither are your moma and brother. Yal all deserve happiness and it WILL come if you just hang in there.
Trust me when I tell you ridding the world of any of you through suicide would not change anything for the better for anyone. Try to think of life like 2 bathtubs. A misery tub filled with blame, anger, regret, pain, and hate - and a joy tub filled with hope, happiness, comfort, forgiveness, kindness and love. Your dad has chosen to drown himself in the misery tub but you DO NOT have to climb in with him. You can chose for yourself.
We can't give you a real hug but you Are cared about and Do have friends here.
|