Ever have something hanging over your head? a big secret? one you can't tell ANYONE? I'm sure I'm not the only one -- but this one is pretty big. It's tough to admit but I've been married for a long time to a good man and have wonderful children. About 11 years ago I met a man at a work function and we started an affair shortly after. Heard it before, right? Well, in this case, we live 1200 miles apart and happen to have children around the same age which is pretty unusual considering how young we were when we both had them. I should mention that when I met this man he was separated from his wife -- regardless, he knew I was married for a long time. We were instantly attracted to each other, almost like lightning. It scared me to death and I did nothing with him except email each other for awhile. When I happened to be in his area for the first time after our initial meeting, we were together and it was the best, intimate experience I ever had -- an amazing connection of wild, passionate intimacy.

OK - so fast forward to today. It's been nearly 11 years since my relationship with Scott started and I've waited YEARS for him to be free ... free from his wife who returned to him after the couple of years, and free from his now grown boys. But recently he told me he wasn't planning to make a change -- he bought a Harley, doing well at work after jumping from job to job after leaving the company that we met at, and now his son is overseas fighting for our freedom. I'm in love with this man, can't seem to get him out of my mind, have immense respect for him and his strength, and have invested many, many years waiting for the moment that we'd be together. I'm an educated woman but truly did not see this end -- and feel like a complete a**. Could there be other women in his life? Doubtful -- he's the kind of guy that's so into his own "stuff" that there's little time for other excitement.

So here I sit struggling on how to let this man go and continue with the "normal" life I lead with my husband and kids. How the heck do I do that?! There's so much emotion invested on both of our parts and there's no way he'd say goodbye -- it's been nearly 6 months since I saw him last. I can simply stop corresponding with him, but that doesn't happen that often anyway. It's the emotional tie I need to break -- and quickly. In order for me to re-invest in my life here, I have no choice but to figure out how to let him go. I'm sinking into a funk that is primarily caused by this heartache ... and it's starting to affect all areas of my life.

If you've been here before, enlighten me on how to take steps to "erase" this man from my thoughts. Please help!!!